Internet Voice

Listen to the ocelot woman

The internet is a great place to get your voice heard. It evens the playing field. In real life no one would listen to you because you’re a walleyed coupon-cutting bitch who smells like hay, or an evil dandruffy nerd who’s not even smart wearing a church shirt. But because of the anonymity of the internet nobody can visually ID the cloak of invalidity that covers you like ditch maggots on a possum corpse. You’ve concealed your shittiness. Now people read what you have to say and they judge it based on your words only. The reader has to assume that you’re a reasonable person, and not a bad permed bi-polar ex-stepmom who loves internet pseudoscience or a teen WWE loving dog jacker-offer or a self-righteous new vegan with an unrelenting coalmine-fire of rage and an ITunes full of reggae, socially conscious hip-hop, and Barenaked Ladies. I hate your stupid opinion. You’re wrong. You’re not smart. You’re not funny. Whoever gave you the idea that you were smart? Whoever gave you the idea you were funny? You deserve nothing. You pollute society with your half-baked ideas. You don’t ever ponder anything. You know where a person like you would do great? Prison. Stupidity rules in prison. You’d never have to read and there’s always gossip & bullshit fables that everyone believes. I hate you. I honestly hate you. I HATE you. But I am like you. I…I am you.