- - Moon Base 1 this is merchant transport 4PQ-17b: DVSM requesting dock. Over.
- -This is Moon Base 1. Merchant transport repeat starcode ident. Over.
- -Roger that Moon Base 1. Starcode ident 4PQ-17b: DVSM. Requesting general dock. Over.
- -Merchant transport we’re getting some interference. State starcode ident full numeric. Over.
- -Copy that. Starcode ident: four, pork, quotient, dash, one, seven, bulk. Plates: digital, vampire, sex, music.
- -Roger that merchant transport. Running ident scan. Remain inert. Over.
- -Requesting permission to sustain engine engagement. This transport is an older make with brittle coils and a blinky quartz sustainer. If engines are cooled down here, this rig may need to be towed from checkpoint.
- -Temporary permission granted. Remain anchored to current orbit point. Merchant transport you must be aware that the grandfather clause on obsolete ships lapsed years ago. Junkers bricked on routes aren’t kindly nudged out-of-path or hitched to the nearest jerkwater outpost anymore. A breakdown on a route is now considered obstruction of capitalism and is trans-galactic offense. I could cite you and assign a no-fly bind for having a craft unfit for deep travel. But you’re going to get that heap of shit wrenched on and route-ready before you leave our fair docking station aren’t you?
- -Roger that Moon Base 1. Immediately after interstellar tariffs and planetary fees paid, payload transfer, refuel and waste extrusion, full repairs will be employed. Thanks for the leniency Controller. Over.
- -Hey, I came out of transport. I understand your predicament. You plan to stay on base long? Some of the strikers triangulated a worm-hole terminal from some old industrial ion transport reflectors and a silage motor rewired to create an unnatural infinity displacement loop.
- -A buddy of mine told me about that but I thought he was full of it. Hey has that ident scan come back yet? I need to get out and breathe some fresh air. This recycled air is starting to turn grey.
- Your ident sheet is printing out now. This worm-hole terminal creates an aperture no bigger than a fuel coupler and I saw this guy stick his hand in there as a joke and instantly his arm froze and he fell to the floor and I’ll be damned if his arm didn’t get stuck in the aperture and shatter. The ignorant sumbitch died seconds later.
- -I always wondered what the point of a wo…
- -Merchant transport this is Moon Base 1. You are under orders to immediately disengage all engines and non-vital systems. Enforcers have been dispatched and will board you shortly. Do you copy?
- -…Copy that.
o Something’s wrong.
o No shit something’s wrong.
o If we get caught with this contraband it’ll be the lazer gallows for sure.
o No, you’ll get the gallows and I’ll get life in slavery in an acid mine.
- -Merchant transport you are under orders to cut your engines. Lack of compliance will result in severe measures.
o I can turn around right now.
o And go where? We’re low on fuel and there’s nowhere to hide.
o I gotta do something.
o Look, let’s play nice like this is all a mistake, and when they board us we’ll be there to greet them at the door with a smile and a couple of razor guns.
o We’re just gonna kill them?
- -Merchant transport if you do not comply in 30 seconds the approaching enforcement vehicles will open fire on your centrifuge. Over.
- -Moon Base 1 this is merchant transport 4PQ-17b: DVSM. We are in full compliance. You just didn’t hear our reply before. Must still be some interference. Inspect whatever you want. We’ve got nothing to hide. There must be some mistake with your manifest. Calm down and come aboard and we’ll straighten this whole misunderstanding out. Over.
o How are we on rations?
o We got shit for rations. Some apples.
o Throw some apples and some cartridges in bags for me and you.
o We got gasmasks and a map.
o That map won’t do any good down there. You know anybody on this moon?
o I’ve never even been in this quadrant before
v - ATTENTION MERCHANT TRANSPORT 4PQ-17b: DVSM. YOU ARE BEING BOARDED ON ENFORCEMENT AUTHORITY OF MOON BASE 1. DISARM YOURSELF AND DO NO MOVE UNTIL ORDERED TO DO SO BY A MOON BASE 1 AUTHORITY. ANY PERCIEVED DISOBEDIENCE WILL BE RESPONDED TO WITH NEUTRALIZATION.
Ø - Rrrrrrzzzzzzrr chizzzzt-ttt-tt clink. Bong. Bong. Bongbongbongbong.
o As soon as the door opens squeeze the trigger.
o This is fucking crazy. If I die right now at least I can say we had a hell of a ride.
o I don’t even like you man.
Ø - Vvvvvvvvvvffffffffffft. Eeeeeeeeeeee.