Hey now everybody how ya doin'? Alright alright settle down. Me? I'm doing pretty good except I can't find a job so I can make money so I can buy a car so I can drive to places that are beyond walking distance so I can expand my range of putrid and offensive me-ness etc etc But other than no job no wheels no woman no cry no more tears Johnson & Johnson shampoo, I'm doing swell. No sarcasm there for reals. Does leave-in conditioner still exist? or was that an 80s/90s commercial scam like flavor crystals, fahrvergnügen, & low tar? I love products/stores with a feminine article before them. Mrs. Butterworth, Mrs. Dash, Lady Foot Locker, Lady Speed Stick, and Mrs. Just-For-Men Lady Beard Dye. Does anyone else recognize Ms. Pac-Man as a feminist other than myself? Her name is Ms. Pac-Man and not Mrs. or Miss. She don't take no chauvinist pig guff and she strongly rejects the shackles of male dictated prefixes in which the bearer not only identifies her marital status but justifies the inequality of western marriage practices. But when the rubber meets the road Ms. Pac-Man really knows how to gussy herself up. With that red bow and high heels she is one sexy woman. The only drawback being that Ms. Pac-Man's nudism tends to get her attention for all the wrong reasons, forcing men to look at her as a sex object thereby trivializing her constant struggle with the phantoms of male dominance that haunt the endless mazes of the arcade machine (an obvious allegory of a working woman's quest for equality and respect in today's sexist world). Also, her lack of an intelligible vagina. How come we hear of chauvinist pigs but we never hear of feminist pigs? If one exists so must the other. Did you think yin-yangs or 8-balls were cooler? I was a yin-yang lad until I learned how to draw the Stussy "S" in seventh grade and then it was all over, I gave me heart to the evil corporate pushermen who ran Stussy. Where are you now Stussy? If you would've asked me in 7th grade if Stussy would be long gone by now, I probably would've called you a dumb-ass scrounge and told you Stussy would be making tuxedos now or at least be bigger than Nike. Bruce Springsteen once said "the times they are a changin'." I never had any idea why that was such a brilliant statement. Yeah, no shit dude. Times are changing. Wow. WOW! What an insightful observation. I heard he wrote another song that was hella important and intellectual called "B comes after A in the alphabet" and one called "water is wet" and of course his classic acoustic ballad "I pooped my pants and now my pants smell like squished poop."
What-EVER! I was just going to write one sentence and then direct y'all to a cool art shirt website on which I wrote some dope junk. Here it is:
http://chunksandnuglets.universalerror.com/
ADDENDUM: My mind was blown when I learned that Paul Mitchell was a real dude, I thought he was like an invented corporate whore slave like Betty Crocker. For me, learning that Paul Mitchell was a real guy was almost as crazy is if the Graffix bong jester skull was alive.
What-EVER! I was just going to write one sentence and then direct y'all to a cool art shirt website on which I wrote some dope junk. Here it is:
http://chunksandnuglets.universalerror.com/
ADDENDUM: My mind was blown when I learned that Paul Mitchell was a real dude, I thought he was like an invented corporate whore slave like Betty Crocker. For me, learning that Paul Mitchell was a real guy was almost as crazy is if the Graffix bong jester skull was alive.
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